•{ Can’t say goodbye . . .

Nothing is ever quiet the same when you’ve lost someone close to you. It’s like they take a piece of you with the when they go, and that space can never be filled.

We try though. We try to fill it with pictures and fond memories. We remember all the fun times and the laughter shared with that person.  We take these things and try to stuff them in the hole so that it won’t be empty anymore. It works – but only for a short time – and then we’re back to where we started. 

How, then, do you deal with grief? Where’s the enrollment papers for the 6-week course that we can take to learn how to fill up the hole and move on with our lives? Where’s the off switch  to flick that will keep  guilt from rising up like weeds? :“I should have spoken to you more.”, “I didn’t mean what I said.”, “I should have been there.”,

There’s never enough time is there? Couldn’t there have been just one more day? One more hour? One more minute? 

It’s been a year but it may as well have been yesterday. 

So tell me, when does it start to get better? 

Outfit: Addams // Valentina LaceJumper // N*38
Pose / Prop: {Bittersweet + Strange} Poses – My Sword and Shield {Available Aug. 17th}


•{ Move Along . . .

Let’s make it clear 
You’re not allowed here
So get to steppin’
Don’t bring that sh*t near

You wanna spread the lies
We’re just livin our lives

Kiss, kiss
No, ya ain’t missed
Forget the letter
I’ll do you one better. . .

Thanks to AdalynneCheck out her Flickr) for posing with me!

Top: Blueberry Jenna Bikini Fringe Top
Shorts: Blueberry Helena Front Tied Shorts

Ryanna (thats me!)
Outfit: Scandalize Kaila. 
HairVanity Hair:: Fetishia @ Fetish Fair

Pose:  FOXCITY. Anti-Drama Squad (VIP Gift)

•{ Only beautiful excuses . . .

A week ago he left. He shouldered his backpack, murmured a barely audible ‘be back’, and exited out the door. It wasn’t anything shocking. He had known for weeks that he’d be going away – even had the courtesy to mention it so that his absence wouldn’t come as a surprise. Though even with that he knew this goodbye would be different. He never explained that part. He couldn’t. Not to her.

I won’t pick up the phone // I’ve said all there is to say  // Gotta be strong because it’s wrong for me to stay

It wasn’t long before the phone calls and text messages started.  He knew they would. ‘Hi! Hope you’re okay!’ ‘Take care of yourself.’ ‘Be safe! See you when you return.’ Soon the messages got further apart. He read every one of them but he never responded.  Every time his phone buzzed and he saw that it was her he sent out a sent plea that  maybe this time, this time, she would actually forget about him. He said all he had to say before he left. He spent weeks preparing her for the loss that was to come in his absence. It was all a mass of beautifully crafted excuses that he hoped solidified to one thing: that he wouldn’t come back. 

I’ve made all the perfect turn of lies // And I’ve sugar coated my disguise // But I can’t cover this up with sweet goodbyes, no // There’s only beautiful excuses in my eyes . . .

The only things he had with him were what he could fit in his bag: enough clothes for a few days.  He sat down and pulled his book from his bag and opened it to one of the letters she had given him. It was years old and worn from all the times he had read it. In it, she said she would never stop believing in him, and would always be waiting for when he came back. 

Tell me what the use is // Trying to find a way to come back home // How can we correct this if we’re disconnected? // I don’t know, I don’t know . . .

They had such history together. She had pulled him back from the edge so many times he had started to call her his Angel. He was the Devil but she didn’t care. Everyone knows that Angels and Devils can’t mix. In so many ways over the years he told her that he loved her even though he never used those exact words. Would she love him now that he’s gone? 

What makes an angel fall in love? // What makes a good man turn and run? // How do you know if she’s the one?

He sighed and put the note and the book away.  It didn’t matter how far he went, he’d always remember her but he could never go back.  All he had were beautiful excuses. 

{inspired from “Beautiful Excuses” by Rixton}


Shirt: etham – Tommy Shirt – @ *PocketShop*
Pant: {COLD-ASH} Mens HOLLOWAY Ripped Jeans (Vintage Blue-Single) 
Beard: (( Mister Razzor )) Facial Hair Raphael @ Men Only Hunt
Sunglasses: Ohemo – Bjorn sunglasses

Pose from : K&S  – // She is ok // Bento poses @ *PocketShop*

Taken on location at Arranmore.

•{ And Breathe . . .

How many times have we forgotten to breathe? Sounds silly right? If we didn’t breathe, how are we still alive? Sure, we take breaths, in and out, out and in, without thinking.  It happens naturally.

So what could I possibly mean when I ask if you’re forgetting to breathe?  I mean have you taken a deep breath and looked calmly at the situation in front of you? Have you closed your eyes and spared a minute to steady the thoughts in your head? Have you taken in life and the world around you? 

When was the last time you put down your devices, turned off the tv, radio,  and took a moment to simply be?  When is the last time you listened to the way your heart beat and paid attention to the rise and fall of your chest.

We’re living in a time where everything is go-go-go and if you’re not doing anything you’re “Wasting time”. It’s not wasteful to breathe.  When we don’t do it we run the possibility of being overwhelmed. Breathing helps to set us back on track and clear our minds.

Try a few deep breaths. One. Two. Three. One. Two. Three.  We can’t control everything in this game we call life, but we can take a deep breath, refocus, and settle our spirits.  All you have to do is remember to breathe.

“He lives most life whoever breathes most air.” – Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Outfit: Cotton –  Safietou
Tattoo: Stardust –– Arisa Tattoo. @ SaNaRae {Until Aug 17th} 

Pose by: SomethingNew ~ Meditation

•{ One wish . . .

If you had just one wish,
What would it be?
Would you want to be happy?
Live a life of harmony?

Would you wish to be free
From the chains of this world?
Or would you let all thing be,
And let their stories unfurl?

Because there’s only one wish
Things will never the same . . .

Skin: !Lumae : Sylryth Group Gift // JULY 2018 (ears included)
Hair: ICONIC: NYANE – New at the Mainstore!
Eyes: Revoul. EM Palette Gacha Eyes #20 DELUXE – RARE @ Epiphany 

Pose/Prop: Stardust – Starry Night Gacha Poses

•{ Life in a Circle . . .

Sometimes you’re up and other times you’re down. Sometimes all you can do is keep going because if you stop you’re going to break. As we strive to keep going, often we’ll get stuck in a pattern. A circle. 

The pattern is safe. The pattern is what you know. The pattern is something you know how to deal with. Everything outside is chaos but my circle has everything that I understand. When things go wrong in life we go to that circle. We go to that safety. We go to what we know. 

There’s nothing wrong in going to a place where you feel secure. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to deal with whatever it is that made you retreat to your circle. All things in their own time.  

We know that eventually we’ll have to step out and deal with things on the outside but until then we’re just focused on getting by.  And that’s okay. It’s okay because while we’re in that circle we’re allowing ourselves to find peace and come to terms with whatever it is we’re going to face.

That must be faced.

It can be tempting, but we know that we can’t keep living life in a circle . . .

Outfit: Cotton – Safietou 
HairVanity Hair:: Baccara. @ Trés Chic 

Pose/Prop: Glamrus . Focus Cube