What if I don’t feel like it today? What if I just don’t want to? What if I just want to do nothing.
In an instant I could put on a smile and play the happy role that is required for day-to-day operations. This farce was something I started again lately as a coping mechanism. At any other time all the smiles and expressions would be the real thing, therefore I it isn’t lying. I am happy, but it is buried under everything else that’s more important than the reasons why I adopted this persona again.
The endless barrages of engagements I have to go to, and people that are coming around don’t leave me much time to do anything but put on the role that brings forth results. Another engagement is waiting at the top of the steps.
I can imagine the whole thing.
I’d have to smile – of course. Then add a touch of elevation to my voice at just the right time when introducing myself to make it sounds like I am excited to be here. A tilt of the head, cue the slight wide eyes and trickle of laughter. Great. That’s it. They’re so happy I made it and think that I’m excited too. Now shift expression to that of interest and make slight adjustments variant on present company. Keep the act going until a reasonable amount of time has passed and then I slip away.
But what if I don’t want to today . . . This endless show takes its toll and when I do have time to myself I’m too exhausted to even enjoy it.
Pose ::LW: BENTO Poses – These Memories